Hello! I’m María and my story began with a small lump. At the time, I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, I thought it would go away, so I carried on with my life. But despite this, I could feel that it was still there.
I went on by Erasmus year, this, along with other things, allowed me not to think about anything else. In fact, at times I forgot. “I’m healthy, I’m fine, I’m still doing everything normally, there’s nothing wrong with me” are phrases that I kept repeating to myself and that I forced myself to believe, and I did. But it was still there, it grew and multiplied. Basically, the right side of my neck was riddled with little lumps that could be seen and felt, and which I could no longer hide.
I was told it was lymphoma, even though I had prepared myself for the diagnosis, this was not enough. The words grounded me, a cancer. At the age of 20, my life changed.
I couldn’t say cancer, so I decided to call it “Monster” and, despite my reality, I created a blog where I began telling my story. Each visit made me stronger, I just ignored the lumps that would form in my throat and even laughed and joked. I set out to kill the monster and my adventure began.
I took control of the situation, cut my hair and donated it to an association so they could turn it into a wig. I bought scarves and started watching tutorials to learn how to wear them. The needle pricks became commonplace and, at last, the moment arrived, the one I never expected would arrive: chemotherapy. The first day I cried like a little girl, I just wanted to run away from it all. It was hard to accept that there was no other option. I gradually got used to it and faced it with a different approach.
After a while, I returned to that consultation room with the same fear as always, or perhaps even a bit more, but it was on that day that I heard the words I had wanted to hear for so long: “Maria, you are in full remission”. I had defeated the monster. All the effort, the tears, the pain, the powerlessness, the anger and all those endless “ugly” feelings… everything had paid off and the monster had vanished.
To this day, I still can’t believe what has happened. I am still having regular check-ups and I’m happier than ever, I aim to help, my blog and my words through the media have reached many people and have helped others feel a little better about their fight against the monster.